THE SILENCE



Hi! Here I (still) am. Sitting by my flower-and herb pots on the backdoor stairs. And it's sunny and almost warm -which is something of a thing this summer, the coldest of the decade they say- and I am wearing a selfmade dress I haven't in years.

And I wish I could sit like this more often, just sit there, listen to the wind in the trees and look out on the field and road in front of me, and feel good about just doing just and only that.
But I don't get to too often. The classic -  there's seldom time for it. And when I perhaps try to for a while I tend to look at everything that needs to be done, that are in the yard and garden waiting to be fixed or maintained.  That's a line you often hear from a lot of people, but in this case here everything really is waiting for the next step. The house is still full of the Tapiola-flat still packed in boxes, waiting for us to renovate more space. It looks like shit. And the to-do's from work never end; there is always something you still need to do. And have I worked, a lot, building the business, constantly. And it might even start to show soon. The two hours I spend on commuting every day are those two I spent at blogging per day before (I spend a lot of time and eat a lot of my meals in the car these days).

So I took a lot of stress during the past year of not having time to blog like I was used to, or like I wanted to. Many are the list of posts that remained on there, as notes on a list, and many are also the photos since 2015-something meant for the blog, still lingering on the memory card, to the point that it became a thing, like a barrier I couldn't get across, to actually produce something. But at some point this summer I just let that stress go. I've been here for a decade. That's a crazy long time and sometimes, when I take the sudden extra moment, I may browse back and look at what I used to do during the past ten years, and also at how one used to blog for the time being. Because that has changed as well, blogging itself has changed, the way it is done it seems. Few out there interest me anymore, many became too branded and "clean"- which is something I totally understand, the need and reason to brand oneself, for those making a living out of it.  Everyday life for me has been so hectic and at some points heavy possible blog subjects have changed and the current state of many affairs and situations in society has also had an effect on what I have felt, or rather not felt like blogging about. And all the boxes and halfway-there things at home do not serve as too inspiring an environment for the moment either.
But that does not mean I am done. I just stopped feeling bad about not being able to constantly produce material (and answer emails, sorry for that!).
And damn, that feels good!


THE SILENCE



Hi! Here I (still) am. Sitting by my flower-and herb pots on the backdoor stairs. And it's sunny and almost warm -which is something of a thing this summer, the coldest of the decade they say- and I am wearing a selfmade dress I haven't in years.

And I wish I could sit like this more often, just sit there, listen to the wind in the trees and look out on the field and road in front of me, and feel good about just doing just and only that.
But I don't get to too often. The classic -  there's seldom time for it. And when I perhaps try to for a while I tend to look at everything that needs to be done, that are in the yard and garden waiting to be fixed or maintained.  That's a line you often hear from a lot of people, but in this case here everything really is waiting for the next step. The house is still full of the Tapiola-flat still packed in boxes, waiting for us to renovate more space. It looks like shit. And the to-do's from work never end; there is always something you still need to do. And have I worked, a lot, building the business, constantly. And it might even start to show soon. The two hours I spend on commuting every day are those two I spent at blogging per day before (I spend a lot of time and eat a lot of my meals in the car these days).

So I took a lot of stress during the past year of not having time to blog like I was used to, or like I wanted to. Many are the list of posts that remained on there, as notes on a list, and many are also the photos since 2015-something meant for the blog, still lingering on the memory card, to the point that it became a thing, like a barrier I couldn't get across, to actually produce something. But at some point this summer I just let that stress go. I've been here for a decade. That's a crazy long time and sometimes, when I take the sudden extra moment, I may browse back and look at what I used to do during the past ten years, and also at how one used to blog for the time being. Because that has changed as well, blogging itself has changed, the way it is done it seems. Few out there interest me anymore, many became too branded and "clean"- which is something I totally understand, the need and reason to brand oneself, for those making a living out of it.  Everyday life for me has been so hectic and at some points heavy possible blog subjects have changed and the current state of many affairs and situations in society has also had an effect on what I have felt, or rather not felt like blogging about. And all the boxes and halfway-there things at home do not serve as too inspiring an environment for the moment either.
But that does not mean I am done. I just stopped feeling bad about not being able to constantly produce material (and answer emails, sorry for that!).
And damn, that feels good!


LAST OF APRIL, FIRST OF MAY


Iiro Nurminen 1960, Helsingin Kaupunginmuseo

Vappu.  Valborg. Vappen. The most likely biggest of the Finnish festivities!  Party-wise, I guess. If the city empties at Midsummer Vappu is the opposite - the city is full of thousands and thousands of celebrating people. We've had mead and funnel cakes and donuts for a the past days and I'm getting rather stuffed by now.

Vappen is a festivity for quirky hats and faux noses and costumes and serpentines and confetti (and just making a mess our of everything in general). Kindergartens and schools most often have a masquerade they day before Vappu. Last year Dag was a ninja, this year he went as his latest obsession: a knight!

Costumes that I wore when I was little included princess (quelle surprise), medieval lady and cowgirl.

I've spent most of my Vappu-day, as in the day after; 1st of May, out on town celebrating since early morning, and even those years I was on shift in the harbour I tried to sneak in a visit to to the park before work. Lots of fun memories ever since my early childhood years. The tradition of Valborg, which itself goes way back in time has been celebrated in today's form, with partying on the streets, balloons and picnics and such, since the 1800's. On first of May labour's day and marches meet academic festivities and a sea of white graduation caps.



First of may on the Observatory Hill of Kaivopuisto.
Arvo Kajante 1959. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

 Kari Hakli 1972. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Picnic in Kaisaniemi.
Ivan Timiriasew 1920. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

 Ivan Timiriasew 1912. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Student gathering in Kaisaniemi.
Unknown photographer, 1870. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo. 

Communist march. Simo Rista SER 1970. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Labourers' march. Unknown photographer, 1919. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo. 

 Juha Jernvall 1950, Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Above are photos from celebrations in Helsinki from past days; the Helsinki City museum has released a site -helsinkikuvia.fi- where you can browse and download their collection of 40,000 photographies of Helsinki from then and now, with a free-to-use-if credited license. A lot of interesting and nostalgic pics! So I checked out Vappu-celebrations from past times; turns out they had as shitty weather as we do back in 1899 as well for example. And 1957 and 1929. Phew.

Drawing by A.Federley of their first of May in 1899. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

But when you've blogged for a decade (!!) you get quite the archive of your own life during those years as well.
This year, as I was working in the day and as Eddi is away on work in Shiraz I am just staying at home in bed with a glass of, in fact, Shiraz as well (going for that old traditional, but with newly found internet fame, mode of kalsarikännit. Well not really, but close enough. Not drunk but no pants.) I browsed some of my own Vappus from the last years -

2010 we were out with Eddi and some friends on town. (And it was cold. Not like now, but I was freezing in my dress.Weather is such a factor here.). Just remembered that the Vappu before we had been on a day-date after having been on a break and I biked to work in the sunshine wondering weather it would turn into something or not.

2011 we got engaged in the pale May night on our way home after a long odyssey of park picnics and suburbian bars. It was warm and I wore a 50's dress and my big pink petticoat that I managed to spill beer on and Eddi picked me a yellow dandelion and gave me a ring. (We had actually booked our wedding in Vegas by then already but it was still a sweet move.)

2012 I was super pregnant amd we went to a Vappu brunch after the park.

2013 Eddi was in Bolivia and I was home on the countryside with Dag minding my flowers and drinking beer. Kind of like now, heh.
And I got carried away at my son's first chance for a Vappu balloon and got him two. Dag has a dinosaur balloon this year as well btw (< THE INTERNET HAS TO KNOW!)


But I also brought Dag to his first First of May park experience then!
I remember he started screaming so hard in the bus (that was packed) on our way downtown I had to get off and wait for another one. Not very surprisingly we went for brunch after the park.
(Most restaurants organise late brunches on May 1st. )

Last year we stayed out on the countryside and had some friends over for bbq and fixed up my old car. And yes it was so much warmer than now. And no, that's not a real butt.

Glada Vappen!